The Mighty Neutron Multi Spin Washers (Assembly) Albion are the worst team in their local factory league, much to the frustration of their ambitious boss Stan Truman. Their fortunes change when a Spanish time and motion expert, ‘Philip’, visits the factory whom his workmates initially believe is an ace soccer player. Unfortunately Philip’s skills reside on the felt Subbuteo pitch (a very popular table soccer game played with scale model plastic figures). However, Stan makes a connection between Philip’s dexterous digit and his secretary’s witchcraft and an invincible side is born. Of course, for the Machiavellian Stan, things go horribly wrong …